Quick Pix this week, but first just a few words for the Facebookers out there. And that's all of you because the only place the Pix posts is the "Book". Most of you are doing a pretty good job.....lots of great photos of the kids, the occasional food shot (Pix actually likes these), maybe a nice shout out to a fossil in your life, all good. But there are still a few of you who need to be policed up a bit and officer Pix is here to provide a few reminders of how to be a productive and not painful FBer. Ok? Great, good talk.
1. The Pix doesn't give a shit that you are at the airport. Congrats, you can board a plane. How about waiting until you are somewhere cool......and then lets us know. East Boston doesn't do it for the Pix.
2. "15 years ago, I married my soul mate, best friend, blah, blah, blah......Pix couldn't even write anymore because this drivel makes Pix want to Puke. Didn't Pix see you toss a glass of wine at your soul mate and walk out of the bar the other night? Or look at your phone and swear while angrily texting that its not your turn to pick up the kids at your mother in laws? Look, it's nice that you made it another year without killing each other, but please spare us the public fawn fest. Oh, and if your marriage really IS that good? Rest assured nobody wants that rubbed their faces.
3. This is what's called an awkward segue, and has nothing to do with the paragrah above, but, um.....enough with the pet photos. Yes, your dog is cute. And anything within the first 6 months is fair game as well. The Pix is just saying to check your pet/child ratio and, ya know? Just sayin'...
4. Political rants.....nobody cares. We get it, the world gets it, you're smarter than everyone else. Without your wisdom there's an actual chance Democrats will retain the White House. But thanks to you, we can see the light that Obama is an illegal alien Russian spy sent from China to steal our money and give free health care to South America. And he's probably married to a dude. Not to mention he hates Christmas and doesn't even really believe in Jeebus, because he is too busy funnelling money and arms to ISIS. Yes, we can see it now......and you have convinced us with your 6000th post. Your work is done, and we thank you.
The Games:
Oakland +5 over Shitsburgh. The Pix would like to thank the Raiders for embarrassing Jets last weekend and for Derek Carr to lead fantasy Pix to a rare win. If you could finally beat the Donkeys some day the Pix will come to Oakland and share a beverage with you all.
Jets -7.5 over the Jaaaaaags. Um..........the Pix has nothing.
Rams +2 over Viqueens. Um..........yup, still not a thing.
Miami +3 over Bills. The AFC East really is amusing. All offseason the pundits predicted the AFC East would be so much harder this year. REX, REVIS, SUH....well it turns out Rex is still a joke, the Jets are paying Revis 20 million to cover our slot reciever, and Miami still will soil themselves the moment they walk of the plane at Logan. Good times.
NO -8 over Tenn. Let's back up there a moment. Has there ever been a better Jedi mind trick than the Guru acting like he might resign Revis and the Jets blowing up their salary cap so a maturing cornerback can man up on Julian Edelman? Did that really just happen? Because thats the MOST JETS THING EVER.
Carolina +3 over GB. Pix was watching the Browns/Bengals last night and noticed the NFL has switched from pink to camouflage. That's right, the NFL is done pandering to women for a month and have moved on to our love of the military to encourage us to buy more gear. It's bad enough that teams are CHARGING local National Guard units for military celebrations at the stadiums....and that's gross. But now requiring the coaches and players to dawn army-ish stuff is so transparent and cynical .....well, sorry, there isn't even a joke here. Goodell is poison.
Atlanta -7 over SF.
Tampa +3 over NYG
Indy +5 over Donkeys. Yes, NFL we love our ladies (pinktober). And yes, we love the military. You got us there. But we know what the eff you are doing here. So let the Pix make a prediction. The NFL cares SOOOOOOOO much about social issues, where could they take us in December? What's left? Pix is thinking.........has to be the LGBT thing, right? Especially the T? ESPN can regift the heroism ESPY to Braytlyn Jenner and players can wave rainbow towels. Maybe Rex can paint his toe nails and Andy Reid can shave his head and put on a bra outside is rainbow tank top? Don't think this isn't happening? You know Goodell is pissed the NBA is in bed with the Kardashians and if there's a penny out there the SHIELD will shamelessly exhaust all efforts to collect it. Prepare yoursleves for LGBTember.
Philly -2 at Dallas.
Washington +15 over Pats. Very few things concern the Guru more than Jay Gruden dialing up a gameplan. And when Kirk Cousins gets hot.....there's no stopping him. If the Redskins roll out their yellow pants, the Pix thinks Washington could even win the game outright. So the Pix is going to tease the Skins with Bindi Irwin getting a 9 from Bruno Tonioli. And then the Pix will go up to New Hamphshire and fight the good fight for Ben Carson while posting pictures of the official dog on Facebook.
Enjoy the games everyone, Pix out.
