Championship week is upon us and we can't get to Sunday fast enough. If
for no other reason that the market can't tank again on Saturday. The
Pix has had a worse week than vacationers in Kenya. Multiple cans of
deliciousness will be needed to numb the pounding sans lube that has
been the financial markets for the month of January. Fortunately for
those of us who are Pats fans, at least the weekends offer hope....a
commodity seen less and less these days. Before we get to the football,
some random observations from a world gone a little meshugena .....

Official wife is due April 29 with official child #3 and we can't seem
to agree on names this time. Since we would ultimately like the child
to be athletic, the Pix looked at some names picked from recent articles
about high school recruiting for men's and women's NCAA teams. Some
male samples (real names from top '07 football recruits): Dontavius,
Allante, Dejuan, Cordale, Kemonte, Kavario, Shelvin, Boubacar, Lavunce,
Givon, Jrue and Aldarious. We're leaning towards Winslow. Some female
(2005 top women's hoops recruits): Kym, Keshonda, Sherrell, Davanei,
Rashanda, Nnenna, Marneshia, Dortae, Ketura, Lavesa, Marquitta, Roney,
Impriss and Tainisoutti. Um, I've always liked Jennifer.

The Australian open started this week and it's time the truth comes out
about Justine Henin. Formerly Henin-Hardenne, but pronounced Ena.
She's irritating beyond words. She can't pronounce her own name and I
have long suspected that she is a tranny. If nothing else, the WPTA
needs her to pee in cup. She has the body of Wes Welker and the jaw
line of Howie Long.

Going back to names for a moment, whatever happened to the trend of
inserting the word "ice" in your name somewhere? There was Ice Tea, Ice
Cube and Vanilla Ice and then..........no more "ice". The Pix thinks
this is unfortunate because "Ice Pix" has kind of a nice ring to it.
Just sayin'.

Speaking of Just Sayin', it has been too long since we have reached out
to the Ovarian correspondent for illumination and revelation. Let's put
the OC to work, shall we? Here's the topic.....Rachel Ray. We all know
what she must have been like in college. The girl everybody liked to
party with but no one really dated. Always fun and up and chipper and
not terrible looking but after 5 minutes you just needed to turn the
sound off. An over-laugher and liberal toucher. But then you'd be in a
4-5 week slump and needed to grab some low hanging fruit just to turn
things around. So you get loaded at the midwinter's formal and end up
wondering on Sunday morning how to get Rachel out of the house before
the boys notice and before she can quiz you about how this changes the
dynamics of your friendship. It ends how it ends and the point of this
rant is this.....10 years go by and you see her on TV. And then she
blows up and becomes a national celebrity who's annual income is
multiple hugeness. And you have to ask yourself, did you blow it? You
could have been Mr. Ray. She was way into you. Regrets? So the
question for the OC is this, what's the male corrollary to the Rachel
Ray question? And if that's too serious, just answer this, how does a
short pear shaped weird sounding average chick whose only discernable
skills are making "sammies" and "stoups" in under 30 minutes wind up
with 3 tv shows and a magazine? The Pix.......

Breet -9 over NY. Who cares. Let's just move on. Wait, no Breet
comments you say? Let's just say this, from now through the Super Bowl,
Breetapalooza will be in full flaming force. The only way things could
get worse is if Hillary wins the nomination and announces Breet as her
running mate. He could obvioulsly fix the housing crisis and wipe out
STAPH before breakfast. The NFL has hired 5 extra refs for this game
whose families are being held hostage in remote locations only to be
released if GB wins.

*******GAMBLING ALERT********** Mr. Vegas has just announced he will be
teasing GB and SD for the weekend. For the great unwashed, that means
he gets 6 points from the house and will have GB -3 and SD +20. Just so
you know....



NE -14 over SD. I'm trying to get nervous for this game, but just
can't. SD's head coach is named Norvil. Seriously, Norvil. Randy Moss
could take a baseball bat to a women's shelter and the Guru is not
losing to Norvil. Ladudian is gimpy, Merriman has the flu and Rivers is
as emotionally stable as Brit Brit after a fifth of Grey Goose and a
blown custody hearing. Having said all this, if something unimaginable
happens here, the Pix will be joining the boys from the Heaven's Gate
cult and look for the Hale-Bop comet with my phenobarbital and glad bag
combo.


So in the interest of self preservation and one final Pix column for the
year, Go Pats.

Apologies for the sabatical. The Pix received some important
information over the holidays that required some personal reflection and
no small amount of research. Only after some significant soul searching
and multiple cans of deliciousness was the Pix finally able to accept
and in turn embrace the new reality that is the Pix' existence. Some
background......The surname Case is generally believed to be of English
(mostly Welsh) origin. A little Scotish, very little Irish and an even
smaller amount of German. However, the official father of the Pix
recently purchased a book on all immigrants who came to America sharing
the surname Case. The results of said purchase have resulted in a
startling development that still has the Pix surprised, confused,
relieved and ultimately delighted. It seems that a very small number of
Cases actually hail from the 3rd largest Greek isle. That of Lesbos.
Indeed, my friends, it seems the Pix is...in fact...at least
partially.....a Lesbian. Truth be told, the Pix has long suspected
this. A long time admirer of the poetic works of Sappho and Lesbians in
general, the Pix has always felt a kindred spirit and attraction to his
people. It seemed that a little further research would be a good idea,
though, so the Pix immediatley went on line and purchased several dvd's
and magazines to explore this new revelation in regards to family
history. In fact, the Pix even encouraged the official wife to join him
in a journey to Lesbos and embracing the culture and tradition of their
fellow islanders. Alas, the official wife is Irish and is pretty much
all set with that. The Pix........

Ny at Dallas. The G men are riding high after putting a scare into the
Pats and going on the road to upset the Bucs. The Pix just has a
feeling that the momentum can continue for at least one more week. NY
has won something like 8 consecutive road games this year ( the last
loss in Dallas in week 1) and is playing the best football of any team
outside of New England right now. TO will be a little gimpy as high
ankle sprains are hard to get over. Romo has a spotty record in big
games. Giants 27, Dallas 23.

SD at Indy. This one will be over by halftime. Without Gates to open
up the middle of the field, Rivers will have to rely on Chambers and
Jackson to get open just under the corners against Indy's cover 2 (which
Dungy invented in Tampa) while waiting for Bob Sanders to arrive and
decapitate them. Not happening. Colts put 8 in the box to restrain
Ladudian and the Bolts will go back to SD whining that, well, whatever.
They always have an excuse. The Pix says if you actually have to do
stuff with your family this weekend, this is the game to miss. Indy 42,
SD 14.

Sea at GB. There Breet goes again. It's playoff week and the only
thing Breet talked about was whether or not he'll be back next year.
Apparently, breaking Blanda's all time interception record wasn't
enough, Breet wants to shatter it. At this point, however, the Pix
wouldn't know what to do without Breet in his life. Who to obsess
about, Clemens? Hillary? Country Wide Financial? No, we need Breet.
And we need him to lose to Seattle this week if only to see Peter King
spit up his double mocha decaf latte. Hawks 17, Breet 13.

Jags at Juggernaut. Thanks for stopping by, boys. See you next year.
Mike Huckabee has a better chance of winning the Democratic nomination
than the Jags have of winning in Foxboro. Their d line is dinged up and
the Pats are rested and ready. The Guru will not be denied his place in
history by a team led by Jack Del Rio and David Garrard. This is a
beatdown. Pats 35, Jags 7.