Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Merry Pixmas
Greetings and salutations to all readers of the Pix this week. As of Wednesday afternoon the Pix had several ideas for the column this week. And then the great tsunami of hilarity and schadenfreude hit the internets with a massive wave......or should one say stampede.....
For those of you not reading www.deadspin.com or www.barstoolsports.com, allow the Pix to introduce you to Michelle Ryan, wife of J-E-T-S coach Rex Ryan. Or as those who belong to www.swinging lifestyle.com know her, "Ihaveprettyfeet". It seems "Ihaveprettyfeet" was somewhat of a you tube sensation back during the years that Coach and his wife were living outside of Baltimore, Md. Here is a screen grab of their user profile:
Uh Oh.....Straight/bi-curious? The Pix is afraid this doesn't mean the Ryans are interested in riding bikes......and, um, then there is this.....
Oh, dear.......let's see here.....nipple torture? Check. Defilement? Check. Fisting? But, of course. Do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?
Honestly, what is the Pix supposed to do with all this information? Between Breet destroying his legacy more than the Pix could even have imagined...
....and the Ryan's swinging foot play lifestyle becoming a national punch line that will occupy comedy writers for the forseeable future, there's very little to say here.....so let's re-print some comments that the Pix saw yesterday from various internets contributors"
"Trick or Treat,
Smell my feet,
New England Patriots
Can't be beat"
"The Jets have fired their team physician today and hired Dr. Scholl"
"Are you ready for some FOOT-ball?
"Rex: getting beat, licking feet"
And then there's Coach's quote himself from the video:
"Can, I, uh, smell them?"
What the Pix wouldn't give to go back in time to rewrite the high school yearbook quote....."Can I, uh, smell them?"
But you know what? Let's leave the Ryan's alone. It's a personal matter, no? At least it's his own wife, right. Ok, good talk. Let's just move on......
seriously, nothing to see here......
ok, that's enough.....
next topic.....
no looking back.....
let's not feet, er, beat this into the ground....
It's not funny anymore.....
And..........were' done. (maybe)
Let's talk a little football. No, seriously, the sport.
San Francisco +1 at Rams
Pats -8 over Buffalo.
Tenn+5 at KC
Oakland +3 over Colts
Seattle +6 over TB
GB -3 over Vagiants
NO +3 at Falcons.
Ok, back to Sex Ryan for a moment. Here area some headlines from today's Post:
"Tormented Rex bares 'sole' over Kinky Feet Vids"
"Bum toe (seriously) Sidelines Santonio"
"Gang Green: Beating Bears would have Heel-ing power"
and the Daily News:
"Rex forced to do some Sole searching"
"Rex keeps foot out of mouth Wednesday"
Oh, and then there's this little fresh tid bit from our boy Breet:
"Brett Favre asked Jenn Sterger for masturbation video." Wait, what?
Well of course he did, why wouldn't he? It would have been rude not to. That's right.....just when Roger Goodell thought he could get away with sweeping the Breet droppings under the carpet, he's back. By the way, anyone else notice that "Sterger" is "Regrets" backwards? Just saying'.........The Pix wonders if Breet ever has this thought cross his mind:
Probably this one a little more:
Speaking of NY staying classy, there's another stain out there trying to fly beneath the radar:
Baseball Diva Andy Pettitte. For those who haven't been paying attention, HGH Andy is now in his fourth consecutive offseason where he is threatening to retire. Holy Breet. Does he really think anybody takes this seriously. And doesn't the lefty bare a striking resemblance to fellow New Yorker.....
Andy Samberg? No?
Youre's not seeing it? Well, it's pretty hard to segue away from these players:
The good news for Pix readers is that there was already a pretty amusing post set to launch.....until Sex Ryan and "Ihaveprettyfeet' had their closets opened by the internets. And the Pix suggest there could be more to come here........maybe even another shoe to drop? The Pix can't wait for Rex and the Jets to saunter back into Foxboro and get trampled (wouldn't Rexy just love that?). Undoubtedly, the J-E T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! cheer will morph into F-E-E-T-S, FEETS! FEETS! FEETS!
It will be hard for Rex to focus when the Pats bring Tony Franklin onto the field to commemorate his two seasons with the team:
"Can I, uh, smell them?"
So for now the Pix well leave you with a simple, Merry Pixmas.
And to the Ryans and Jets fans, Happy Heelidays:)
Pix out.
For those of you not reading www.deadspin.com or www.barstoolsports.com, allow the Pix to introduce you to Michelle Ryan, wife of J-E-T-S coach Rex Ryan. Or as those who belong to www.swinging lifestyle.com know her, "Ihaveprettyfeet". It seems "Ihaveprettyfeet" was somewhat of a you tube sensation back during the years that Coach and his wife were living outside of Baltimore, Md. Here is a screen grab of their user profile:
Uh Oh.....Straight/bi-curious? The Pix is afraid this doesn't mean the Ryans are interested in riding bikes......and, um, then there is this.....
Oh, dear.......let's see here.....nipple torture? Check. Defilement? Check. Fisting? But, of course. Do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?
Honestly, what is the Pix supposed to do with all this information? Between Breet destroying his legacy more than the Pix could even have imagined...
....and the Ryan's swinging foot play lifestyle becoming a national punch line that will occupy comedy writers for the forseeable future, there's very little to say here.....so let's re-print some comments that the Pix saw yesterday from various internets contributors"
"Trick or Treat,
Smell my feet,
New England Patriots
Can't be beat"
"The Jets have fired their team physician today and hired Dr. Scholl"
"Are you ready for some FOOT-ball?
"Rex: getting beat, licking feet"
And then there's Coach's quote himself from the video:
"Can, I, uh, smell them?"
What the Pix wouldn't give to go back in time to rewrite the high school yearbook quote....."Can I, uh, smell them?"
But you know what? Let's leave the Ryan's alone. It's a personal matter, no? At least it's his own wife, right. Ok, good talk. Let's just move on......
seriously, nothing to see here......
ok, that's enough.....
next topic.....
no looking back.....
let's not feet, er, beat this into the ground....
It's not funny anymore.....
And..........were' done. (maybe)
Let's talk a little football. No, seriously, the sport.
San Francisco +1 at Rams
Pats -8 over Buffalo.
Tenn+5 at KC
Oakland +3 over Colts
Seattle +6 over TB
GB -3 over Vagiants
NO +3 at Falcons.
Ok, back to Sex Ryan for a moment. Here area some headlines from today's Post:
"Tormented Rex bares 'sole' over Kinky Feet Vids"
"Bum toe (seriously) Sidelines Santonio"
"Gang Green: Beating Bears would have Heel-ing power"
and the Daily News:
"Rex forced to do some Sole searching"
"Rex keeps foot out of mouth Wednesday"
Oh, and then there's this little fresh tid bit from our boy Breet:
"Brett Favre asked Jenn Sterger for masturbation video." Wait, what?
Well of course he did, why wouldn't he? It would have been rude not to. That's right.....just when Roger Goodell thought he could get away with sweeping the Breet droppings under the carpet, he's back. By the way, anyone else notice that "Sterger" is "Regrets" backwards? Just saying'.........The Pix wonders if Breet ever has this thought cross his mind:
Probably this one a little more:
Speaking of NY staying classy, there's another stain out there trying to fly beneath the radar:
Baseball Diva Andy Pettitte. For those who haven't been paying attention, HGH Andy is now in his fourth consecutive offseason where he is threatening to retire. Holy Breet. Does he really think anybody takes this seriously. And doesn't the lefty bare a striking resemblance to fellow New Yorker.....
Andy Samberg? No?
Youre's not seeing it? Well, it's pretty hard to segue away from these players:
The good news for Pix readers is that there was already a pretty amusing post set to launch.....until Sex Ryan and "Ihaveprettyfeet' had their closets opened by the internets. And the Pix suggest there could be more to come here........maybe even another shoe to drop? The Pix can't wait for Rex and the Jets to saunter back into Foxboro and get trampled (wouldn't Rexy just love that?). Undoubtedly, the J-E T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! cheer will morph into F-E-E-T-S, FEETS! FEETS! FEETS!
It will be hard for Rex to focus when the Pats bring Tony Franklin onto the field to commemorate his two seasons with the team:
"Can I, uh, smell them?"
So for now the Pix well leave you with a simple, Merry Pixmas.
And to the Ryans and Jets fans, Happy Heelidays:)
Pix out.
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