Readers of the Pix know that one of my favorite days of the year is the day that high school football recruits sign their letters of intent to attend whatever playschool/college they choose. Not only does the day provide a window into how each school's prospects for the future look, it provides us with the always hilarious list of names that America's parents have chosen to bestow on their offspring. This years list of interesting monikers comes with a twist.....The Pix is going to invent three names and include them randomly. Readers who reply in the "comments" section and guess any or all of the invented names will recieve due recognition on the least read blog in America and a beverage of your choice compliments of the Pix. For the record, the following names are all first names and were selected from CNNSI's compilation of high school football recruits for the 2009 season. Rest assured, this list could be 10x longer. These names come from approximately 15 out of 115 division 1 college programs. The List:
Kadero
Lequan
Tomasi
Osahon
Tourek
Cassetti
Jacarri
Olajuwan
Dave (making sure you are paying attention)
Radermon
Larvez (my favorite for some reason)
Markeith
Sharquilmaa
Tevita
Meshack (no relation to Horshack from Welcom back Kotter)
Payden
Eryon
IK
Javontay
Daytawion
Taige
Shayon
Ray Ray
Kipeli
Snardamus
Pu'u
Vontaze (I think there was a Vontaze last year too)
Quayshawn
Sekope
Darrington
Tanelia
Stanjarivus (not to be confused with Stanjarvious from last year)
Morrell (has a brother Portabello and a sister Chantarelle)
Iuta
Preep
Sample invented names that didn't make the cut:
Kilderion
Roarfus
Mysphincter
Ja Ja
Kinkon
That's it. That's the list. Get thyself to the comments section and enter for your prize. A prize will also be awarded to whomever can invent a name better than what we have here.
Off you go....
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Play being reviewed
7:55...Chances refs reverse this? Blutarski's gpa at Faber. 0.00. Actually, it shouldn't be reversed.
7:57....Here comes the Springsteen slurpfest.
7:59....Sobe ad with Ray Lewis and Matt Light. Wow. Really. Bad. Rating, Breet.
8:01....Watching the replay of the interception return. Skirt Warner just has to grab Harrison and hold on for the clock to run out. Incredibly bad play by Warner. Just indefensible. Maybe as bad as Bud Light's "drinkability".
Pix is checking out for the rest of the game.
Overall rating for SB....Breet. Now just have to wait for the retirement/non retirement national non story to dominate the football media starting tomorrow.
The good news? Hollywood week starts on Idol this Tuesday. Stay tuned....
7:57....Here comes the Springsteen slurpfest.
7:59....Sobe ad with Ray Lewis and Matt Light. Wow. Really. Bad. Rating, Breet.
8:01....Watching the replay of the interception return. Skirt Warner just has to grab Harrison and hold on for the clock to run out. Incredibly bad play by Warner. Just indefensible. Maybe as bad as Bud Light's "drinkability".
Pix is checking out for the rest of the game.
Overall rating for SB....Breet. Now just have to wait for the retirement/non retirement national non story to dominate the football media starting tomorrow.
The good news? Hollywood week starts on Idol this Tuesday. Stay tuned....
Cardinals resembling Bud Light
7:15....first first down for Fraudinals. Madden talks about something totally unrelated.
7:17....why is Arizona trying to run the ball? There's a reason Deval Patrick's wife isn't a model. She's ugly. And the Frauds can't run against Pittsburgh. Unrelated? Methinksnot.
7:19...another flag on Az. None so far on Pitt. Hmmmm....somewhere Mike Holmgren nods his head.
7:20...first and 10 on the 3. Pleasing.
7:21.....Pleasing, pleasing, pleasing......and DELICIOUS.
7:22.....Cars.com, NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Such a good start and then........more anticlimactic than Sara Palin's career.
7:28...first penalty on Turds. Pretty much had to call that one. And.......a makeup call. Encroachment on Az. They could call that on every play.
7:30....The Pitt punter is named Mitch Berger. Pretty sure he did my taxes in 1998.
7:31....This game is getting good. Oops, personal foul on Cards. Bullshit call. Refs back on track.
7:34....Etrade. Lame. Rating, Joe Klecko. They had an ad around 5 or so that was hilarious. Which is why the Pix was disappointed in this one.
7:36....Edge drops a gimmie. Pathetic. Another flag on AZ. Refs are in a groove.
7:38....Drink...........a...........bility. The Pix will say it. Worst Superbowl ads in the history of the game.
7:41. Interception. Pleasing.
7:42. Grim Reaper, taxes, whatever.
7:43. Talking flowers...."go home to your fat smelly cat". Um, I think we have a winner. Rating, Brady plus Belichick.
7:44. Leno in a car. Is he still on TV?
7:46.......Madden, "this is what Kurt Warner likes" on a play when the blitzer comes unblocked and punches his grill. Well said, John.
7:47....Cheetos, pigeons.....I guess this is supposed to be anti skanks on cell phones. Um, ok. Rating, Faulk.
7:49....Oohhh. Bad reverse jinx stat on Warner. Let's see how this plays out.
7:51...yep. The jinx proves true. Pick 6. Wait, flag. Against Az. Given.
7:17....why is Arizona trying to run the ball? There's a reason Deval Patrick's wife isn't a model. She's ugly. And the Frauds can't run against Pittsburgh. Unrelated? Methinksnot.
7:19...another flag on Az. None so far on Pitt. Hmmmm....somewhere Mike Holmgren nods his head.
7:20...first and 10 on the 3. Pleasing.
7:21.....Pleasing, pleasing, pleasing......and DELICIOUS.
7:22.....Cars.com, NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Such a good start and then........more anticlimactic than Sara Palin's career.
7:28...first penalty on Turds. Pretty much had to call that one. And.......a makeup call. Encroachment on Az. They could call that on every play.
7:30....The Pitt punter is named Mitch Berger. Pretty sure he did my taxes in 1998.
7:31....This game is getting good. Oops, personal foul on Cards. Bullshit call. Refs back on track.
7:34....Etrade. Lame. Rating, Joe Klecko. They had an ad around 5 or so that was hilarious. Which is why the Pix was disappointed in this one.
7:36....Edge drops a gimmie. Pathetic. Another flag on AZ. Refs are in a groove.
7:38....Drink...........a...........bility. The Pix will say it. Worst Superbowl ads in the history of the game.
7:41. Interception. Pleasing.
7:42. Grim Reaper, taxes, whatever.
7:43. Talking flowers...."go home to your fat smelly cat". Um, I think we have a winner. Rating, Brady plus Belichick.
7:44. Leno in a car. Is he still on TV?
7:46.......Madden, "this is what Kurt Warner likes" on a play when the blitzer comes unblocked and punches his grill. Well said, John.
7:47....Cheetos, pigeons.....I guess this is supposed to be anti skanks on cell phones. Um, ok. Rating, Faulk.
7:49....Oohhh. Bad reverse jinx stat on Warner. Let's see how this plays out.
7:51...yep. The jinx proves true. Pick 6. Wait, flag. Against Az. Given.
6:48....
6:49....handoff on second and 20? Really?
6:50....third and 17...Skirt Warner wets himself. The Pix had the under.
6:51....Conan O'brian for Bud Light.....and......what a wet fart. Horrible. Memo to Bud light, these ads are costing 3 mil per 30 seconds. How can this campaign be this bad? This is perplexing. The Pix is perplexed. Rating, Mangina.
6:55.....Deliciousness #4, meet the Pix. Pleasing.
6:66....Mr. and Mrs Okeafor must have really gone back and forth between Bill Okeafor and......wait for it........Chike. Pronounced Cheaky. Oh, and the refs just cheated for Pitt again with a no call on the clip when Turd scrambled and completed the pass to Miller. This game is over. So far the only stench more foul than these refs is the Bud Light campaign.
7:01....end of first quarter.
7:02....Bridgstone tires with Mrs Potato head back seat driving. Pretty good stuff. Rating, Faulk.
7:03....Castrol oil with monkees....who made the rule that every SB had to have ads with monkees? Monkees aren't funny....unless they are throwing things at dudes' nuts.
7:04....Hines Ward is Madden's new Breet. Break out the knee pads.
7:05...."Land of the Lost". Sucked in the 70's. Will suck harder now.
7:06.....Chick in her underwear. Strong. Another monkey, weak. Rating, Ladudian
7:07....Danica Patrick for "Go Daddy.com". Me likey. Rating, Randy Moss.
7:08.....Touchdown Pitt. Thanks for the no call on the clip.
7:09...."I'm good". Pretty amusing. Uh, oh. This is for diet cola? No thanks. Pix just added all diet colas to Jihad list. Rating, Jets
7:10..Bud ad with dalmation. Awesome. Are Bud and Bud light connected somehow? Because their ad campaigns have as much in common as John and Yoko. Rating, Jerod Mayo.
7:12......another Bud ad. Pix calls it the horny horse. Get some Mr. Ed. Get some. Rating, Wes Welker.
6:50....third and 17...Skirt Warner wets himself. The Pix had the under.
6:51....Conan O'brian for Bud Light.....and......what a wet fart. Horrible. Memo to Bud light, these ads are costing 3 mil per 30 seconds. How can this campaign be this bad? This is perplexing. The Pix is perplexed. Rating, Mangina.
6:55.....Deliciousness #4, meet the Pix. Pleasing.
6:66....Mr. and Mrs Okeafor must have really gone back and forth between Bill Okeafor and......wait for it........Chike. Pronounced Cheaky. Oh, and the refs just cheated for Pitt again with a no call on the clip when Turd scrambled and completed the pass to Miller. This game is over. So far the only stench more foul than these refs is the Bud Light campaign.
7:01....end of first quarter.
7:02....Bridgstone tires with Mrs Potato head back seat driving. Pretty good stuff. Rating, Faulk.
7:03....Castrol oil with monkees....who made the rule that every SB had to have ads with monkees? Monkees aren't funny....unless they are throwing things at dudes' nuts.
7:04....Hines Ward is Madden's new Breet. Break out the knee pads.
7:05...."Land of the Lost". Sucked in the 70's. Will suck harder now.
7:06.....Chick in her underwear. Strong. Another monkey, weak. Rating, Ladudian
7:07....Danica Patrick for "Go Daddy.com". Me likey. Rating, Randy Moss.
7:08.....Touchdown Pitt. Thanks for the no call on the clip.
7:09...."I'm good". Pretty amusing. Uh, oh. This is for diet cola? No thanks. Pix just added all diet colas to Jihad list. Rating, Jets
7:10..Bud ad with dalmation. Awesome. Are Bud and Bud light connected somehow? Because their ad campaigns have as much in common as John and Yoko. Rating, Jerod Mayo.
7:12......another Bud ad. Pix calls it the horny horse. Get some Mr. Ed. Get some. Rating, Wes Welker.
kickoff
6:36....Pix just cracked third can of deliciousness. Yummy.
6:36....Monty Biesel starts at linebacker for Arizona? Bad Omen.
6:36....Fraudinals D looking more porous than James Edward Olmos' face.
6:38...should be a penalty on touchdown.....#62 Al Hartwig shouldn't be allowed to pull the Turd into the end zone. Of course Madden and Michaels miss it.
6:39...."Drinkability" is the first ad? See Pix archives on worst ad campaign ever. Seriously, I'm glad Bud Light is "drinkable", otherwise I'd shove it up my ass. Rating, Breet.
6:43....."Forever Young"......simply awesome. Best Pepsi add in years. Rating, Brady.
6:44....Horrible Doritos add.....until boss gets hit in nuts with crystal ball. Nothing beats the gratuitous shot to the bean bag. Rating, Faulk.
6:36....Monty Biesel starts at linebacker for Arizona? Bad Omen.
6:36....Fraudinals D looking more porous than James Edward Olmos' face.
6:38...should be a penalty on touchdown.....#62 Al Hartwig shouldn't be allowed to pull the Turd into the end zone. Of course Madden and Michaels miss it.
6:39...."Drinkability" is the first ad? See Pix archives on worst ad campaign ever. Seriously, I'm glad Bud Light is "drinkable", otherwise I'd shove it up my ass. Rating, Breet.
6:43....."Forever Young"......simply awesome. Best Pepsi add in years. Rating, Brady.
6:44....Horrible Doritos add.....until boss gets hit in nuts with crystal ball. Nothing beats the gratuitous shot to the bean bag. Rating, Faulk.
pregame
A few thoughts/disclaimers....no car commercials will be commented on. In fact, only relevant commercials and a few in game comments. Pix was wrong about anthem singer....it will be Jennifer Hudson, not Jordan Sparks (she sang it last year). Jennifer has had, um, a pretty rough year.
6:04....Subway commercial with the popping buttons and stuff. Pretty funny, but let's tell the truth about Subway. To paraphrase Raymond Babbit....Subway sucks. Rating, Faulk.
6:09.....Team introductions. Interesting that ever since 2001, when the Patriots chose to be introduced as a team, EVERY team has stolen the idea since. The Guru's imprint on society is everywhere.
6:12....."Five.......................Five dollar...................five dollar foot long..". Lame. Early line on Subway being the Pix' bitch today, 2-1.
6:15...What happened to Brenda Warner? She actually doesn't look terrible. She traded in her Rachel Madow haircut for the Jessica Simpson. Good call, Brenda. The Pix has always said the wife of a SB quarterback shouldn't look like the editor or the "Village Voice".
6:19. Anthem.....goose bumps.....maybe better than Whitney's during Desert Storm.
6:24.....The Hyundai Genesis is the 2009 car of the year? 2009 just started, fellas. The Pix is pretty sure something better may come along. Rating, Ladudian.
6:28.....The ref just called James Farrior, number 51, number 15. I dyslexia heart. This doesn't bode well for the Zebras. Lets hope they have a better game than 3 years ago when they absolutely HANDED the game to Pittsburgh.
6:04....Subway commercial with the popping buttons and stuff. Pretty funny, but let's tell the truth about Subway. To paraphrase Raymond Babbit....Subway sucks. Rating, Faulk.
6:09.....Team introductions. Interesting that ever since 2001, when the Patriots chose to be introduced as a team, EVERY team has stolen the idea since. The Guru's imprint on society is everywhere.
6:12....."Five.......................Five dollar...................five dollar foot long..". Lame. Early line on Subway being the Pix' bitch today, 2-1.
6:15...What happened to Brenda Warner? She actually doesn't look terrible. She traded in her Rachel Madow haircut for the Jessica Simpson. Good call, Brenda. The Pix has always said the wife of a SB quarterback shouldn't look like the editor or the "Village Voice".
6:19. Anthem.....goose bumps.....maybe better than Whitney's during Desert Storm.
6:24.....The Hyundai Genesis is the 2009 car of the year? 2009 just started, fellas. The Pix is pretty sure something better may come along. Rating, Ladudian.
6:28.....The ref just called James Farrior, number 51, number 15. I dyslexia heart. This doesn't bode well for the Zebras. Lets hope they have a better game than 3 years ago when they absolutely HANDED the game to Pittsburgh.
SB Commercial ratings
The Pix will try something new for the SB. Given that the game itself has no meaning to most Pix readers, a live blog rating the commercials for the first half will be attempted. Degree of difficulty? High. Pre game deliciousness will be consumed and no doubt will have an effect on timing and typing. Let's throw together a quick rating system for this shaky endeavor:
1. Brady. No explanation necessary
2. Faulk. Solid. Under rated. Sneaky good.
3. Maroney. Disappointing, but not a disaster. Starts strong and then fades.
4. McNab. Wierd, over rated, will be discussed more than it should for something so pedestrian.
5. Ladudian. Self important and completely unaware of its own lameness.
6. Breet. No explanation necessary
See you at kickoff.
1. Brady. No explanation necessary
2. Faulk. Solid. Under rated. Sneaky good.
3. Maroney. Disappointing, but not a disaster. Starts strong and then fades.
4. McNab. Wierd, over rated, will be discussed more than it should for something so pedestrian.
5. Ladudian. Self important and completely unaware of its own lameness.
6. Breet. No explanation necessary
See you at kickoff.
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