Championship Sunday

Let's face it........it gets more and more difficult to watch these games/turds as the faux playoffs continue without the best team in the NFL. The four remaining teams are more flawed than Ken Lewis' merger strategies (see Countrywide Financial, MBNA, Merrill). The Pats would go through these teams faster than a plate of scrambled eggs through Mr. Vegas after a night of 37 Miller Lite drafts at Sully's tap. Let's just fire off some random thoughts since the Pix has nothing coherent to say about 2 piss poor playoff turds/games.

Run, don't walk, to rent "Stepbrothers" with Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. Great tip from the Hutchies. How did this movie slip through the cracks? The Pix is currently watching it for the second time in 24 hours. Better than "Superbad". Better than "Knocked up". Let's just say.......funniest movie since "Anchorman".

Rachel Nichols of ESPN is a piglet. It looks like her chin is going to touch her belly button when she scrunches up her face to pronounce the letter N. The Pix doesn't know if it's just a facial tic or a mini seizure, but she clearly has pictures of someone at the world wide leader.

Speaking of strange facial features.....what's up with Raven qb Joe Flacco? It looks like he's been sprinkling chia pet dust on his eyebrows in some sort of bizzare attempt to try out for the cast of "New Star Trek" while simultaneously guiding his team through the playoffs. There are uni brows, there are Klingons, and then there's Mr. Flacco. The Pix hasn't seen a trim job needed that badly since perusing early 70's Playboy centerfolds.

Here's a hypothetical......Let's say you go for "the snip" and the urology nurse tells you to take off your pants and boxers and sit on a cold table to await for her return. Let's say (hypothetically of course) that she's cute, blond, late 20's with a better than average rack and despite a little sketchy skin on the jawline, she's a poor woman's Ellen Pompeo. So (hypothetically) you are sitting there in a t shirt, sweater, and dark socks and you look down to review your most recent styling and realize that she may have to fine tune things for the doctor. And, well, um, the table is cold, the room is cold, you are contemplating two shots of novocaine to your junk bag and, um, you are somewhere between a baby turtle and George Costanza after swimming in the ocean. Do you A: fluff yourself hoping to stop at a reasonable level so as to not make it seem too obvious (don't want to reach ragerville) or B: Just accept the fact that this is probably not her first rodeo and it's only 50/50 that she'll tell all the other nurses that there's a new leader in the clubhouse?

Somehow lost in the news last week was that Osama Bin Laden issued another audio tape in which he had some words for our President elect regarding Gaza and other foreign policies. He then proceeded do declare Jihad on Israel. Um.....................the Pix admits that "Al Jezeera.com" isn't among the family bookmarks, but, really? Jihad on Israel? This wasn't already in effect? What the hell has been going on over there since 1949 in the first place? The Pix is not attempting to be insensitive, but I really had already assumed that the leader of Al Queda wasn't particularly fond of the Red Sea Pedestrians. It appears Osama did not get Lil Wayne's message about redundancy from the new years GQ.

Readers of the Pix know that when it comes to "American Idol", there are few better prognosticators around. Once the football season is over there's a fair chance this blog will convert completely to "Idol" coverage. Here's a little preaseason pick. Stevie, the cute Jessica Biel look alike 16 year old brunette was the best bird from night one. The tattooed slut who sang "Barracuda" is an atrocity. The ebony bird named Lil Rounds (big rounds is more like it you saucy little feline) was the best of night two. The Pix may have missed someone from the second hour due to frozen pea and vodka/cran managment. Stay tuned for more "Idol" commentary.

Finally, for the two readers who care....

Arizona 31, Philadelphia 21. The Pix just thinks Larry Fitzgerald is the best player on the field and that the Cards "D" is peaking at the right time. In addition, Donovan Mcwierd is less reliable in big games than timely service at the "Muffin Shop" when Louisa isn't working.

Pittsburgh 19, Baltimore 17. Bad weather, lot's of turnovers, lot's of chirping by murdering fraud Ray Lewis, lot's of announcer's ball washing the turd burglar and some good old fashioned refs cheating for the Steelers like they do in every big game. And lot's of the Pix thinking this game should be going on in Foxboroug right now.....

Enjoy your snowy Sundays. And enjoy the day off tomorrow.