1/12/07

So Miller Lite wants to do a series of commercials about Man Laws and
they hire as the central character.......Burt Reynolds? I guess Scott
Baio and Tommy from 8 is Enough werent' available. Burt Reynolds is a
walking talking man law violation. No Toupes isn't a man law? No
plastic surgery isn't a man law? Not having Dom Deluise be your best
friend isn't a man law? And let's examine the rest of the dubious man
law cast. Jimmy Johnson, who still thinks getting his hair cut half way
down his ear is a good look. Some WWE dude. A 110 lb boxer who is
better known for his singing. And the man pimp from Deuce Bigelow.
Actually, that guy cracks me up. In other news, a big deal was made of
who got into the baseball hall of fame. Very few sporting related
issues are more boring than the MLB HOF. This year they let in a fat
guy who hit singles for a crappy team and a guy who played a lot of
games and was tremendously overrated for it. Basically Breet in a
baseball uniform. The MLB HOF reminded me of other overrated and
annyoing sporting events.

1. Boston Marathon. Yawn.
2. College basketball regular season. Rumor has it that these guys
have been playing for a while now. Wake me up in March.
3. The French open. Merde.
4. Anything Poker or X games related. The Pix....

Indy at B'more. The Pix will take a wild guess here that the pre game
analysis will focus on Peyton vs Ray Lewis. Let's just say the Pix will
skip the pregame show. Who will Peyton throw under the bus for this
years playoff loss? He's already used the O line and the kicker. This
year I say he blames El Nino. Which is Spanish for the Nino. Final
score, Baltimore 24, Indy 13.

Philly at Saints. The Pix will skip this pregame too. I'm officially
Katrina'd out. Thank goodness Drew Brees, Sean Payton and Reggie Bush
have completely rebuilt the city by themselves. In more interesting
news, the Pix was delighted to read a story yesterday about weddings all
around New Orleans being awash with guests' cancelling at the last
minute due to the game. Think about it........who would have thought
the Saints would be in the playoffs, let alone a Saturday night game?
How hilarious. How delightful. How delicous. Not that the Pix is
anti-marriage. Really. Final score Saints 31, Philly 17.

Seattle at Chicago. Let's face it, with the exception of Boog, this is
the game everyone will skip this weekend to pretend like you are paying
attention to your family. It's OK. It's divisional playoff weekend.
Which brings us to some actual man rules for the Pats game.

1. Women are restricted to 3 sentences. Can I make you a sandwich?
Would you like another beer? Would you like a hot oil massage? Should
I lock the kids in the basement until the game is over? Um, that's
four. But you get the point. Final score Bears 24, Seapukes 3.

Pats at San Diego. Do you ever scan the "faces in the crowd section" of
Sports Illustrated and find yourself looking at the 14 year old female
track star from California and wonder if you have a problem? No? Um,
never mind. Anyway, I just keep thinking of the last two times these
teams played. It wasn't pretty. The Pats just have problems with
runners who can cut back at the line of scrimmage. I just see a long
day for our defense and them eventually wearing out in the 4th quarter.
Final score Chargers 21, Pats 17.