divisional championships and 'Lil Wayne

A small rant before we get to the pigskin..........Santa gave the Pix the most recent issue of GQ magazine in his stocking this year and, well, if you want to know everything that's wrong in America these days....just go pick up a copy for yourselves. With the exception of the mildly attractive pre airbrush Jennifer Anniston lounging in nothing but a tie with other nudies....this magazine is horrible. Plus, is a semi nude JA supposed to titillate the Pix? Note to GQ and all other magazine editors....the inernets provide plenty of better pictures than the pg-13 tiredness that you spend so much money putting on the covers. Either man up and go with full frontal of just put a picture of a dirty martini on the cover. Either way, the Pix understands that I am not their core demographic. The last time the Pix purchased a magazine of f a "normal" newsrack was the 1990 Athalon draft preview. Moving on...

At the back of the issue was an article on Lil' Wayne. The Pix was remotely aware of the existence of some rapper by this monniker, but since the Pix is really "no school" vs. old or new, let's just say we had never crossed paths. Understandably, we never did hook up at paddle night in Weston. After reading a few paragraphs about this riciculous creature, the Pix flipped the page to a shirtless picture of Lil' standing and smoking a blunt....looking into the camera with an expression that said, "I'm baked, bored and more self important than Kim Jong Il". Even more fascinating was the head to waist ink that Ill Stain was sporting. Let's break down some of the messages that Ill Stain found so important he needed to fuse them onto his body forever:

1. On each of Stain's eyelids are the words "fear" and "Cod". Obviously, the player missed the cuttail classic. Cod have tiny little teeth that don't hurt and they don't even bite. They are a benign fish that have been fortifying the country with flaky sustenance for centuries. Why the fear? Oh, the left eyelid might say "God". Ok, sorry Stain. This is an obvious shout out to Stain's preference of the Old Testament's God of Abraham vs. the more forgiving father of Jesus introduced to us in the Gospels. I was probably confused by the cross tattoo between the eyebrows directly above another tat of what appears to be an erect phallus. Hard to tell.

2. Across Stain's entire abdomen are the giant words "cash money". Having misinterpreted one symbol already here, the Pix will give Stain the benefit of the doubt. Let's see......Clearly Stain wants us to contemplate redundancy. Ah, yes. Stain wants us to recognize the hypocrisy of post modern corporate greed and the consumer society dependent on debt. Touche Stain.

3. On Stain's left bicep is the corporate logo for Rolls Royce with the words...........Rolls Royce above and beneath. Brilliant!!! No doubt an homage to Edward Hopper and American "Realism" while simultaneously and paradoxically advertising the very emblem of British manufacturing quality and craftmanship.

4. Worthy of David's "Pieta", Stain has tattooed tear drops beneath his eyes. A thinly veiled reference to the crying Indian from the pollution ads from the '70's. One can only guess that "give a whoot, don't pollute" with a picture of woodsy the owl would have taken up too much space. Once again, Stain is playing chess while the rest of us play checkers.

5. The balance of Iil Stain's torso is replete with various squiggly lines and illegible messages that no doubt refer to world peace, sobriety, a good night's sleep and the enigma that is the egg salad sandwich. Scholars, I'm fairly sure, will be interpreting Stains deep messages and societal criticisms for years. Either that or he's just a silly man with too much money at too young an age with an appreciation for marijuana and irony. The Pix isn't through with this topic.

Time is up. Could be a more in depth football post tomorrow. If not:

Ravens +3 over Titans
Cardinals +10 over Panthers
Giants -4 over Philly
Chargers +6 over Pitt.