Rapid Randomness

Once again the Pix is going old school this week and bringing back the random format for the games. The Pix:

Texans -7 at Slaguars. Who cares....So anyways, it seems Russian Prime Minister Dimitri Medvedev is calling for the release of Pussy Riot from prison. Given that President Putin just got finished arresting these hogs a few weeks ago, this seems premature. Look, the Pix doesn't know much about Russia or their system of jurisprudence, but the Gulag used to stand for something. If you're going to arrest Pussy Riot, then go ahead and arrest Pussy Riot, but don't then just let them out like the whole thing was some Gulag fantasy camp experience. And whose in charge over there? Putin? Medvedev? The Russians used to matter.... now they win fewer gold medals than France and run around Eastern Europe catching and releasing ugly lesbian punk rock bands. Get it together Russia!!!

Raiders -2 1/2 over Dolphins. So a little football here.......it appears JJ Watt of the Texans was able to learn the Dolphins snap count from watching "Hard Knocks" on HBO. This does not surprise the Pix. Ever since Don Shula left, the Dolphins have been marching clown coaches through Miami like the Republicans march rich white male religious fanatic fossils through their nomination process. For those of you who didn't watch "Hard Knocks", new Miami coach Joe Philbin makes the Pix think football coach in the same way that Honey Boo Boo's mother makes the Pix think lingerie model. Google her. Welcome back. Russians, Dophins, Republicans.....it's not the 80's anymore.

Redskins -3 over Rams. So PG 13 had himself a pretty good opener, breaking the record for best passing day for a rookie quarterback. The Pix would like nothing more than the Redskins to take over the NFC east again. Very sick of the VaGiants. In other news, the internets are ablaze this am with news of Kate Middleton's cans being snapped by the pap. Of course, the Royals are shocked, blah, blah, blah. They do realize it's 2012, right? The Pix doesn't know much, but Pix does know that if you are one of the hottest and most famous birds on earth and you take your puppies for a stroll in broad daylight, there WILL be pictures. And they will be on the internets. The Duchess of Can bridge should have known that. BTW, Pix was wrong...had her pegged for a B cup but she's definitely an A. Pix ain't mad at her though.

Philly +2 over Ravens. Speaking of puppies, the dog whisperer really needs a better showing than the turd he put on the field in Cleveland. Also, speaking of turds, Adrian Gonzalez is batting .221 with the Dodgers since leaving the Red Sox and L.A. is 1-7 in their last 8 games. The Pix is pleased.

Jets +6 over Steelers. *****Breaking News******It's not often that the Pix beats the major networks for global scoop, but the Pix has done it today......Dorothy Hamill is now accepting applications for her 2013 figure skating fantasy camp. Why is this important you might ask? Because the Pix is IN.

Cinci -7 vs Cleveland. Ok........let's back up here a moment for some perspective on Dorothy Hamill's figure skating fantasy camp. The official wife and the Pix have an "agreement", as the Pix understands most married couples do. Some may call it an "ass pass", but Pix prefers "stray for a day" because the Pix has manners. Anyhoo, word on the street is that John Hamm may be in Marblehead this year at some point to film a show with Larry David. And if the official wife gets within shouting distance of Sir John Hamm......well, there's going to be trouble. And a naked official wife. So this got the Pix thinking......can't let the old married bird get her stray on without Pixie poo enjoying some hot celebrity cheating action. Now, the Pix owns a mirror and is therefore under no illusions that any members of the current stray list are going to bed the Pix. Ms. Hamill, however, is 56 years old, within driving distance, is still blazing hot, appears to have minimal security, and interfaces with the public regularly via her fantasy camp. Hmmmmmmm. Let's just say if you see a black Chevy Avalanche doing 90 on 84 South, Hamill's camel and the Pix have a date.

Patriots -14 vs Cardinals. So Fraudger Clemens is superimposing himself into the news again. It apparently isn't enough for him that everyone in the country who wasn't on the perjury trial jury believes he used steroids. He now feels the need to pitch in a MLB game and prove it once in for all. Because nothing says "I don't take performance enhancers" like pitching at 50 better than you did at 33. The Pix doesn't care if Fraudger pitches for the Sugarland Skeeters, the Dubuque Dingleberries or the Bangor Fart Whistles......if the Astros let this stain take the mound in order to delay his hall of fame vote 5 years they are bigger weapons grade retards than domestic residents of Dumbfukistan who watch Honey Boo Boo.

On a less angry note, this is probably the last weekend of the fall before kids sports get into full swing and football watching becomes tricky. The Pats also have what appears to be the easiest game of the year on the schedule as the geezers from AZ have to fly across 3 time zones and play for them what would be a 10:00 am game. In other words, the Nest will be opening this Sunday at 11:00 am for some tomfoolery and ballyhoo. Price of admission is 12 cans of deliciousness and a picture of Dorothy Hamill.


Pix out.....