Positive Pix

As strange as it may seem, the Pix is having a hard time with the formula this week, because the Patriots still have the Pix dancing down the street, and the family has a brunch reservation at 5 Corners on Sunday (eggs benedict with pastrami). Just can't get the angst fired up like normal. So let's not try to fight it. Allow myself to introduce myself......to Positive Pix.

Colts +11 over Texans. Thanks to the Texans for starting everyone's week off on the right foot. They were even thoughtful enough to be out of the game by halftime in order to allow those of us who need to be asleep earlier than midnight to retire. The Pix would also like to thank all those who have sent holiday cards to chateaux Pix....ensuring that once again I get to spend $300+ on cardboard pictures of my kids that everyone has already seen on facebook and go through the process of addressing a thousand cards and mailing at $.45 a pop. The Pix loves supporting the USPS. Thanks everyone. So pleasing.

Ravens -2 over Donkeys. The Pix would also like to thank the NHL owners and players for unburdening the Pix from having too many viewing options on television. Thanks to the NHL lockout, the Pix has been able to spend some quality time with shows like the X factor and Houseskanks of the NBA. Merry Christmas NHL.

Packers -3 over Bears. And thanks to the lovely young mother of the two kids fighting over an iPhone in the 8 items or less checkout line last evening at Crosby's. Your inability to find your checkbook in your oversized back pack followed by the 10 minutes it took you to write the check and send your kid back to your car to look for your license so the overwhelmed clerk could verify your check gave the Pix a chance to practice my deep breathing exercises. The serene tranquility of Crosby's 8 items or less check out line at 5:pm on a Thursday is the optimal place to take stock of one's good fortune. The Pix was positively glowing with goodwill toward man at that moment. Thank you check writing young mother. Thank you.

Seahawks -5 at Bills. And don't you go anywhere Red Sox management. The Pix needs to thank you profusely for allowing me to already make my summer plans. Seriously, Shane Victorino and Ryan Dempster are just the pieces the Sox need to get them back last place. Thanks to the Bruins and Red Sox both forfeiting their 2013 season's, the Pix can cancel NESN and take the whole family to UNO's where every Tuesday kids eat for 1/2 price. UNO's is the best.

Cowboys -1 over Steelers. In addition, the Pix would like to thank Big Ben and the Steelers for beating the Ravens and then losing to the lol Chargers. Ben certainly seems to have changed his ways this year. No rape charges or anything. Here's hoping 2013 will be assault and sexually violent offense free! Keep up the good work Benjamin!

Titans -1 over roflmao Jets. How about those NFL schedule makers? As the league surely must have known, the Monday night before Christmas can be a hectic time where last minute shopping is sometimes necessary. Thanks for giving us a game that there is absolutely no need to watch nor even check the score. More time for answering my kids' letters to Santa and coming up with zany and hilarious ways to hide the "elf on the shelf". Rather than curling up in front of the fire with some refreshing deliciousness....watching, say, a relevant football game, the Pix can rearrange my underwear drawer and engage in some light banter with the official wife. Good times.

49ers +5 over Patriots. And lest the Pix forget, Pix would like to thank the Pix for scheduling my annual physical 2 days after an 8 day bender following Thanksgiving and a 5 day deer hunting trip. The nurse never laughed as she did after taking Pix' blood pressure. She then noted the hilarity that she had never seen someone gain so much weight in just one year. We had quite the chuckle. And when the Pix told the good Dr. that I had unilaterally stopped taking the blood pressure medication he had prescribed back in August because of an article I read on The Onion, we needed extra hands for all the high fives that were going around. Hard to beat some good old Dr./patient hijinks. Those Docs love to get second guessed from medical experts like the Pix.

So enjoy the games this weekend everyone.

Happy Holidays.

The real Pix returns next week.