Recently the Pix was informed by his wife that due to some modestly
unfortunate behavior, he had "lost some points" and was further
admonished to clean up his act unless he wanted to "lose more". This
made the Pix wonder how this points system ever got started in the first
place. And why are all the rules of the game dominated by one gender?
What's more confusing is that the rules to the points game have never
been clearly layed out. The Pix needs some kind of running scoreboard
or at least a general points guideline if he can ever hope to stay
competitive. For example, playing golf followed by several bottles of
deliciousness apparently can have severe points repercussions. But
sometimes it doesn't. When is one to know? Somewhat more obvious is
forgetting to erase the browser cookies on the family laptop before the
babysitter borrows it for a homework assignment. Unfortunate. And why
do positive actions seem to result in so few points? Also and even more
unfairly........positive points seem to expire extraordinarily quickly.
The Pix recently thought he was in a massive bonus point situation only
to find out that he was perilously close to crossing into negative
territory. And then did so by "breathing too loudly". Shouldn't there
also be a secondary market for Points? What if my boy Jefe needs some
and I have some extra to give? Can I just call Susannah and make a
transfer? Unfortunately, friends of the Pix always seem to be in common
point deficits at the same time, so that rule wouldn't even help. The
Pix calls for the fomation of a points committee chaired by Sue Collins,
(who has passed out her fair share of demerits in her time), Tracy
Ackerman (she scares me in a strange way) and Daye (official wife of the
Pix). Ladies, please let us know the whats, wheres, whens and whatevers
of the points system so we at least have a fighting chance. Meanwhile,
the men will meet at the G5 and come up with a system that allows us the
least amount of pain while putting forth the least amount of effort.
It's how we got here in the first place. The Pix........

Cinmates +3 over KC. Only slightly less boring than the NLCS.

Jax -6.5 over Houston.

Mia +5 over Cleveland.

Chicago -6 over Minn. I understand that giving back rubs and head rubs
accrue massive amounts of points in a short amount of time, but it's
hard to concentrate on the television while doing this.

Philly +3 over Manginas. Giggling.......now
chuckling.....guffaw........belly laugh.....culminating in rolling on
the floor in pure delight......the Pix' reaction to the events of Monday
night in the Bronx. The now annual Yankee elimination day has surpassed
Christmas and Martin L. King Jr day combined. Yankee elimination day
makes Thanksgiving look like secretary's day. Jeter, A Rod, Damon and
Posada all tearfully gazing at the pitcher's mound while the Tribe
celebrated like a score of crazed brides. Delicous, delectable and
delightful.

Rams + 10 over Ravens. Did I mention the Yankees are out of the
playoffs?

Tenn +3 over TB. Truth be told, the Pix couldn't handle another
Yanks-Sox ALCS. The 7 hour games. The biased anouncers, Ronan Tynan,
Susie Waldman etc....at least we'll all get a little sleep this week.

Wash +3 over GB. Now that Breet has tied the all time interception mark
set by a guy who smoked butts at halftime and wore depends his last two
seasons, maybe John Madden and Peter King can remove the kneepads for
just one week and talk about.....I don't know.....the best team in the
history of the NFL and the fact that the Guru is coaching circles around
the league using a notepad and grey sweatshirt? Doubtful. Better chance
of Emmitt Smith actually putting together a coherent sentence.

Arizona -3 over Carolina. Move along people, nothing to see here.

Oak +11 over SD. It was much more fun watching a whining Ladudian
Tampon and Shawn Syringe Merriman lament their way to the cellar of the
AFC West. Let's hope they go back to their Norvian ways.

NO +7 over Seattle.

New York -3 over Atl. The Bobby Petrino honeymoon in Atl didn't last
very long.

Pats -4 over Dallas. Me thinks this will be a beatdown. The Guru is
actually 1-2 lifetime against Wade Philips' coached teams. That
statistic has no place in a rational universe. The only troublesome
thing going into this game is that the Pix found out this week that Tom
Brady is the new "Steston Man". Really? Were Lectric Shave and English
Leather not offering lucrative deals? Tom, CVS is for buying greeting
cards, mini toiletries and condoms.........not cologne. Let's police up
the endorsments and get back with Bridgette. You need to trust me on
this. I've consulted with the Committee and you are losing Points.

Bonus Pix.....Red Sox in 7.

Jihad alert.....Crosby's is one step away from either a Fatwah or the
boycott list. The Pix is sick and tired of their trickeration and
strategery. They refuse to package ground beef in 1 lb increments,
instead craftily making you buy two packages of .72 lbs or one package
of 1.38 lbs. Nobody needs 1.38 lbs of ground beef. The taco package
clearly states one lb per batch of tacos. In addition, nobody wants 4
.18 lb burgers. It's like when McDonalds suddenly started secretly
widening the circumfrence of their straws in the 70's and substituting
veggie oil for beef tallow in the fryalators. We weren't fooled then and
won't be fooled now. Check yourselves before you wreck yourselves. The
Community Store conveniently offers 1 lb packages for qround beef as
well as having a much better wine selection. If it weren't for a
suspect produce section and a parking situation even less efficient than
the Tower shool's afternoon pickup, they could easily be the official
local grocer of the Pix. As it stands, the competition is still
open.....

Enjoy your weekends.