After a brief vacation thanks to the bye week, the Pix is back but not
very happy. It seems that despite numerous reminders of the Jihad list,
the general public continues to ignore the global disaster that is
unwarranted and gratuitous addition of the pickle as a food additive.
Last weekend alone the Pix was witness to the destruction of several
platters of innocent and potentially delicious sandwiches. Unsuspecting
turkey, virginal chicken salad, freshly sliced roast beast all soiled
and violated by the seeping filth of the rancid fermented cucumber.
Past Fatwahs issued against the devil vegetable have apparently been
ignored. Even yesterday the Pix had to rescue a side order of french
fries from green dripping putrescible. The Pix doesn't ask for much.
Remember that the annual subscription price is one gin and tonic per
year. Please help the Pix abolish the practice of deliciousnous
ruination caused by you know what. Thank you. That is all.

In other news, today is the birthday of the official wife of the Pix.
Happy birthday, babe. Other than the obvious omnipresent present that
is just being the official wife of the Pix, rest assured that multiple
gifts and wonders are being bestowed upon official wife even as these
letters are being typed. Indeed, she is a very lucky woman. Somewhat
less lucky, however,ere thos unfortunate souls who dated the Pix in the
mid 1990's. For on their birthdays they were the recipients of the
hilarious and delightfully fraudulent gift of choice for the Pix: the
homeade coupon book. To paraphrase Churchill, never has so little been
given to so many. Rather than actually go somewhere and exchange legal
tender for a real present or token of affection, the Pix would give
several coupons representing various degrees of value. A massage
(potential action), a fancy dinner (the Pix eats too), a vacation
(multiple glasses of liquid intoxicant) and the most valuable of all,
one night of control of the remote (a very painful memory, indeed).
Since 99 percent of these paper treasures expired worthless of simply
got recycled, the Pix could spend more time and money watching football
and consuming deliciousness with his fellow simians. Needless to say,
thanks to meeting the perfect woman who is the offial wife, the coupons
have been retired (until the official sons begin dating). The
Pix........

Arizona +3 over Cinmates.

Packers -10 over Carolina. After curing childhood diabetes and saving
the rainforrest this week, Breet is expected to be the first QB to throw
for a thousand yards in a game. I'm sure Saint Breet will live up to
the hype.

Cleveland -2 over B'more. Ray Lewis is a bigger fraud than the coupon
that promised a ski weekend.

Indy -14 over KC. Anybody catch the look on Manning's face after
Vinatieri stoinked the 29 yard field goal? Same look Lo Lo gave me when
she counted the empty beer cans around the pool table while I
simultaneously announced I was headed to Maddie's to meet the boys. Not
really mad. Just seriously disappointed.

Philly -11 over Miami.

Saints -2 over Houston.

Oak +6 over Minny.

Jax -3 over SD. Ladudian's wife, LaTorsha, sang the anthem befor Sunday
night's game. We also learned that Ladudian calls his wife LT squared.
Ladudian clearly didn't get the algebra book the Pix sent him this
offseason. On the plus side, Pix and official wife can cross LaTorsha
off the list of potential baby girl names now that we know it's been
taken. Thanks.

Tampa -3 over Atl.

Giants even over Detroit.

Pitt -9 over Mangina. The Pix sent Manjudas a coupon for 1 new coaching
job after the Jets fire him next year. He'll find redeeming it a tad
difficult.

Wash +12 over Dallas.

Rams -2 over SF. I'm thinking Darren McFadden with the 5th overall pick
next year.

Chi +6 over Sea.

Tenn +3 over Den.

Pats -16 over Buff. Giving the Guru an extra week to prepare is like
giving Madden extra astroglide at Breet's house.

Finally, as long as we are on the subject of fraud, let's all take a
moment to bask in the glory of some recent headlines.
The dog whisperer is going to jail. The Juice is going to jail. Barry
Bonds is going to jail and Derek Jeter owes millions in back taxes while
his nemesis A-rod is returning to Gotham for 25 million per year. As
long as Cher doesn't make a new album, 2007 might just turn out alright.
As always, enjoy the weekend, drink up and hold the pickles.