of the Pix has mercifully arrived. No more Breet, no
more Ladudian, no more Turd Burglar. It's been a long season and one
that Pats fans will have reason to remember for the rest of our lives.
There was comedy, there was tragedy and there were multiple cans of
deliciousness consumed. We updated the Jihad list, the boycot list and
let our thoughts be known on subjects ranging from Darfur to Britney to
Thomas'English muffins. The Mangina Manjudas took it in the seat and
Mohatma Dungy got his just deserts as well. Once again the Guru stands
at the threshold of immortality and readers of the Pix were along for
the entire ride. Well done, my friends. But before we go and before
the final pick is made, some current events and headlines have demanded
commentary. Let's break them down Pix style, shall we?

The NBA Players association met with the Toronto Raptors this week to
remind some of the players of their fiscal responsibilities. It seems
that 5 years after retiring from pro hoops and earning an average salary
of 5 million dollars a year, 60% of NBA players are broke. Busted.
Bankrupt. Um............the Pix knows how to spend a little glue and
has been known to make the occasional impulse purchase, but blowing
through 25 million in 5 years? 60% of them? How expensive has "the
chronic" or whatever designer version of stinkweed players are inhaling
become? It is understood that the NFL is all about getting a ring and
the NBA all about the bling, but this statistic has a normally skeptical
Pix apoplectic. The official wife does have somewhat of a posse, or
entourage if you will, but the most that usually costs us is a couple of
grilled cheese sandwiches at the muffin shop and 6 diapers a day.
Fortunatley for the Pix, he has narrowed his life down to one official
wife. Not so, apparently, Jason Caffey. Mr.Caffey, formerly of the
world champion Chicago Bulls and who had earned a reported 30 million or
so during his career, has recently filed for bankruptcy. He seeks to
protect himself from creditors who include 8 children by 7 different
women. Bonne Chance Monsieur Caffey and fellow NBA ballers, maybe the
diamond and gold necklaces and earings weren't such a great idea after
all. And put down the glock.

On a more positive note, people might be wondering what to watch on TV
after the football season is over, and the Pix has just the thing. It
was recently brought to the Pix' attention that the greatest TV show of
all time is returning for it's third season on Feb 11. A show that
features one of the most original entertainment icons of the last 30
years and whose quest for true love is both noble and inspiring. The
Pix refers, of course, to Flava Flav and his incredibly uplifting show,
"Flavor of Love 3". In what can only be described as an upset of global
proportions, Flav didn't find his true soulmate in either of the 1st two
seasons. He did, however, manage to cohabitate with some of America's
finest dancers, aspiring actresses and single moms.....giving them all
hope and a chance at becoming Mrs. Flava Flav, complete with the gold
grill and the 7 kids he already supports. This years lovelies have
nicknames just like the girlz from seasons one and two. Some examples,
you ask? Certainly. There's: Myammee, Q-tee, Prancer, Sinceer,
Sheeninz, Bunz, Grayvee, Ice (the pix favorite) and lastly a set of
twins he affectionatley refers to Thing 1 and Thing 2. It may be argued
by some that Flav is not advancing the feminist movement... and perhaps
that's true. But Flav can't help that he's a hopeless romantic who is
just trying to carve out a small piece of the American dream for
himself. So here's to you Monsieur Flav, the Pix toasts you and salutes
you. May you never run out of deliciousness and may the network execs
keep this show running for years to come. It is truly the gift that
keeps on giving.

Finally, it's on to football. Sen. Arlen Specter was quoted in today's
NY Times that he has sent a letter to Commissioner Goodel that Congress
wants to know why he destroyed all the tapes the Patriot sent them as a
result of the Spygate investigation. Just when the Pix thought there
was no one left out there dumb enough to provide motivation to the Guru
and his players, along comes this bozo who wants to grandstand for his
Pennsylvania constituents. Not that he's bitter about that 2004
beatdown where his QB ran the 2 minute offense by crawling and puking up
the field in a performance more disturbing than Uda Pippig's last 1/4
mile of the 1996 Boston Marathon. In fact, Eli might want to strap on
some Depends because he may just end up resembling Ms. Pippig after
Seymour and Vrabel get done with him. The G-men just don't have the
horses. The thing about a 2 week layoff before the Superbowl is that
it's just enough time for the media to write themselves into the false
hopes that a team like the Giants can hang with these Pats. It's not
going to happen. There was NO PRESSURE on the Giants in week 16 when
they gave us their best shot and still go swatted away in the end. Eli
had absolutely nothing to lose in that game nor in any of the subsequent
games. Not so this week. He carries the pressure of the country's
largest media outlet as well as the Manning name and he goes up against
nothing less than the greatest team in the history of the game. True
story: In mini camp this summer, before even the first exhibition game
had been played, Vinny Testaverde was overheard saying he thought the
'07 Pats were the greatest team ever. And he hadn't seen Moss play yet.
Vinny is 71 years old and has seen a thing or two. Patriots 41, Giants
17.

That's it my friends. It's been fun writing this season and getting all
the great feedback from you guys. The Pix returns in September of '08.
Be well. Go Pats.

Pix out.