TONIGHT

Spygate 2.0, Deflategate, the Super Bowl, Brady's appeal and victory, Ashley Madison, Braitlyn Jenner.....the internets are truly wonderful.  But out of all the most recent headlines, the Pix's favorite just may be this mad cow (Kim Davis) down in ReTucky who just got out of the can for refusing to issue marriage liscences to same sex couples.  The Pix just watched the YouTube vid of this foul bird being introduced to a throng of Wal-Mart rejects by pandering bigot lardass Mike Hillbilly Huckabee.  Dear Lord.....ISIS has to be thinking to themselves that if they could only over here, it wouldn't take too long to take this circus over.  https://youtu.be/fR3n1d1GlsA

And please don't mistake the great Commonwealth of Kentucky for Retucky. Every state has their re zones.

The Pix:

KC +1 over Houston.  Hard Knocks, for the first time in a long time, delivered this year.  Between Mike Vrabel being insanely awesome and Bill O'brien delivering more FUCKS than the entire works of 2 Live Crew, the main takeaway is that the NFL now has the biggest media whore this side of Breet to celebrate.  ME ME Watt has gone full blown WWE character without the wink wink side of self awareness that even pro wrestling has.  ME ME Watt actually thinks he is real. 

Cleveland +3 over Jets.  Ok, this is weird.....the Pix doesn't just can't get worked up for the Jets anymore.  They are just a team grossly overpaying aging defensive stars in a sad attempt to remain relevant in their own city.  Too Bad, so sad...yawn.

Miami -4 at Washington.  One of the hardest things in coming back to writing the Pix after the layoff is that every topic has been HOT TAKED to death.  How would it be possible at this point to say something original about RG3 or how much of an evil dwarf Dan Snyder seems to be?

Jacksonville +4 over Carolina.  Despite Carolina's legit defense, The Panthers' achilles heel seems to be, surprisingly, Cam Newton.  The Pix could be wrong, but it just seems Cam can't put two seasons in a row together.  This is the Pix upset special of the week.  Because, please, the Jaguars......

Arizona -2 over New Orleans.  Wow, this is a pretty crappy week of football.

Tennessee +3 over TB.  See above.  Allow the Pix to be the first to declare Rapist Winston's career a bust.  And the Bucs deserve nothing less.  They did their due diligence and still decided to draft this poor excuse for a human #1 overall.  More on the Rapist in future posts.

Dallas -6 over Giants.  It says here the Cowboys play in the NFC championship game.  That's all.  And, um, fuck the Giants and hypocrite hall of fame DB Wellington Mara.

Baltimore +5 at the Donkeys.  Ahhhhh.....the "root for injuries"game.  In the event ISIS doesn't take both teams hostage and light them on fire in cages before the game, the Pix will sit back, relax, and root for both teams trainers to pull hammies running on and off the field.  Peyton's chicken neck and noodle arm have been as feeble in the pre-season as they looked last year in the playoffs.

Oakland +4 over Cincy
Bolts -3 over Lions
Philly -3 over Atlanta.  PIX LOCK OF THE WEEK
Vikings -2 over SF.

Buffalo +3 over Indy.  You know the kid on your u12 football team who is faster than hell and hits pretty good (until it's against someone his own size) and then takes his first good shot and turtles for the rest of the season?  And then you get the email from his parents about how concerned they are about, um, everything?  That's the Colts, and that's their pussy weasel ownership/management.  And it's been going on for the better part of two decades now.  At least the kid can find soccer.....

And finally..............Patriots -21 over Steelers.  Seriously.........where to start?  When your team wins the Super Bowl (not the mention their DYNASTIC 4th with the same QB/Coach) your reward as a fan is the offseason.  As a fan, you invest massive amounts of time and emotion into a form of entertainment that has a very low probability of having a successfull outcome. So when your team overcomes extremely long odds.......and WINS, there's as much relief as there is exhilaration.  To make matters worse, the window to celebrate is relatively short, Feb-August, because then the paranoia and anxiety you have as a fan (admittedly an insane one) begins all over again. And that's OK, it's the business we have chosen, it comes with the territory.

But when ESPN and the NFL spends OUR ENTIRE  offseason doing their damn well best to deprive us Patriots fans of our deserved payoff from our investment......yeah, it becomes personal. Really personal. It is now beyond reasonable doubt that the owners (and fans) of organizations like the Jets, Colts, Ravens (oh, fuck, everybody) have joined with the media of those cities and ESPN and the NFL to paint the Patriots as an organization unworthy of their success.  It's the ultimate insult, and they have pursued this storyline with blatant lies. And moe lies, and then lies to cover up their lies. To try and detail the level and amount of bull shit that has been thrown in the direction of New England would take weeks, or months, or years. So if you started off reading the Pix thinking to yourself that "this is some pretty weak sauce from the Pix....considering....", don't worry.  We here at Pix nation are just getting started.

And it begins tonight.  Brady gets to answer tonight.  Belichick gets to answer tonight.  The New England Patriots get to unfurl the FLAG and 70,000 Mass holes who have been drinking all day and listening to sports radio for the last five months get to answer TONIGHT.  Months of sitting in traffic on the way to the mountains or the Cape listening to turncoat pussies like Felger and Mazz talk about how Brady was GENERALLY AWARE or that Ted fucking Wells was "independent" stops TONIGHT.  Months of suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune ends TONIGHT. Thousands of hours or droning and crying by the electronic army of past Patriot vanquishment comes to an end TONIGHT. TONIGHT we fucking roll.  At approximately 8:15 the Pix will step away from the television and onto the back porch of 1 Pix Place so that The Pix can hear the roar from Foxboro (45.4 miles away) and join the chorus of unjustly accused and maligned Patriot fans shouting our defiance.  And ESPN and Roger Goodell and his fellow co conspiritors will hear us.  And they should weep and tremble and beg for mercy.  Because now the dialogue will be controlled not by the media, but by the players.  By the Patriots.  By BRADY, THE GURU AND GRONK.



 As Mr. Kraft said on the Super Bowl podium back in 2001, "Tonight, we are ALL Patriots".

Let the games begin indeed......