You think Brady needs a deflated ball to be the best? Well, since the balls have been "reinflated", Brady has thrown 15 td passes and one pick. Seems like the kid is getting the hang of this thing called passing....
Brady's AWESOME quotient is somewhere between Ghandi and Jesus....and the Pix doesn't even believe in Jesus (Ray Lewis does, though so.....)
Brady has every important passing record, Brady is better looking than Giselle, Brady speaks better than most Presidents, Brady makes Chuck Norris look like a chicken fried pussy, Brady and the Guru are like, wait.....there is NO analogy, Brady could crop dust the economy section of your Delta flight to Cleveland and you will think your are inhaling pure O2 and rosewater.
The Pix has been reluctant to defend Brady because every MASS hole frome here to Gt Barrington has already done so. And every nutless Brady basher has gone the other way with equal vehemence and delusion. It has already been said, over and over and over again.....but the Pix hasn't said it....so off we go. An entire Pix dedicated to the greates human being to ever live.
The PIX:
Atlanta -3 over NO. Who gives a fuck? This game is the type of dumpster fire that a Feb NBA tilt of Toronto vs. Denver reminds me of. Gay. There it is, Pix said it. Brady is such a stallion that Greg Hardy's interview this week consisted not only of his recognizing Brady's swordsmanship, but also Hardy asking for Giselle's sister to be at the game. This seems about right, because the closest Hardy would ever get to Brady's people is that his wife's sister may or may not be in the stands.
Cleveland +4 vs Denver. Did anybody else wonder why chicken neck didn't defend Brady this offseason? The Pix noticed. I guess if your "friend" kicks the shit out of you 8/10 times and has rendered your career impotent, a certain virulent and malignant strain of jealousy can implant itself into your being. And Peyton has a stage 5 Belinoma. The only cure? A blessing and pardon from...........BRADY.
Cinci -3 over Buffalo. So.........ESPN. Let's talk about the "Leader". They fire Olberman, Simmons and Whitlock.....their best on air and online talent. Why? Because they were the only three media talents who criticized Goodell and the NFL with an independent and fair take. Yet ESPN re signs Greeny (Jets fan) and Golic (Retard) because if ESPN told them to join ISIS and declare Jihad on Boston they would wet themselves on their way to strap on suicide vests.
KC +4 vs Minn. Chris Carter, Ray Lewis, Stephen A. Smith, Mark Brunell, Bill Polian, Jerome Bettis, Ladudian Tampon.....can the media find someone who Brady hasn't embarrased/pancaked/fisted pls?
Jax -1 vs Houston. Seriously?
Detroit -3 over Chicago. Pix thinks the Pats beat these teams 94-17 last season. Nope, correction, it was 30,756-10. Pix waits for ESPN to hire more Lions and Bears for objective commentary on the Pats.
Jets -6 over Wash. Since Brady and the Guru got their wondertwins thing going the Pats are 44-9 against the Jets and the Bills. Vegas has a word for that.........profit.
Arizona -3 at Shitsburgh. The Pix was in Dallas last weekend. The Pix was in Jerry Jones' suite. If Pfizer invented and anti-viagra, like if they invented a pill that could de-crank you, and the Pix took 10.....then when Brady spiked the ball after his QB sneak and let out a primordial scream that would make William Wallace look like Lincon Chafee...never mind, the Pix needs to stop right here.
Miami +2 over Tenn. It's really cute that these cities (all of them) have fan bases that root and buy jerseys and pretend they belong in the same league as Brady. Seriously....good for these little fellas...
Carolina +7 over Seattle. Here's the thing....Pix likes Pete Carroll and Richard Sherman. And Sherman is about the only NFL super star to come out and bang the NFL over deflategate. And the Seahawks played in the two greatest Super Bowls ever...raping Peyton and the Donkeys and admirably losing to the Pats. So the Pix wants Seattle in the playoffs. There.....the Pix said something nice.
GB -10 over SD. Good god the Bolts suck. Spineless, gutless, soft turds who are haunted by the Ghosts of Norv Turner and Ladudian "everyone knows how classy I am" Tampon. Go ahead and move to LA so you can become pure DIARRHEA. (Pix just realize that the word, diarrheah, is completely under used. Stand by for more diarrheah)
San Fran +4 over Baltimore. Ron Jaworski LAST SEASON said that after "reviewing all the tapes", Colin Crapernick might be......wait for it......the greatest QB in the history of the NFL. And "JAWS" still has a job. That's like the Surgeon General saying Aids and Ebola are good for you....if you smoke a pack of Camel unfiltered's and shoot up H in an alley with prostitutes from Port au Prince....daily...
New England -10 over INDY. Really? This is the line? Ok, there are more elephants (in the room) in the Lucas Oil Stadium than there are in Africa. Forget that the Dolts attempted to rat out the Pats for chicanery. Forget that these stains hung a "Finalist" banner in the same way Jared from Subway got "Not worst Pedophile" at the last Subway corporate circle jerk. Indy is in for, as the French say, a Fisting sans Lube. The last several times these teams have played the Patriots have won, decapitated the coach, and pissed in the ocular cavity of their bitch. This time it may not be so pleasant. Brady wants blood. Belichick wants blood and bone marrow. Kraft wants blood, marrow, and Jim Irsay's left nut. The Pix wants a cheese steak and a Tito's n'Tonic. It says here that all wishes will be fulfilled. Pats 54-Colts negative 6. O points on scoreboard and -6 for running out of the stadium for the first time in NFL history.
Enjoy the weekend my friends. Pix out.......
No comments:
Post a Comment