Yawn

So the Pix has been enjoying his bye weeks while the rest of the country has been preoccupied with pedestrian matters like Frankenstorms and erections. Sorry, elections. Fortunately for the Pix and for the folks in general, nobody has taken to Facebook and spewed ignorant political diatribes about the outcome of the great erection. Sorry, election. All of the Facebook chatter has been reasonable and measured.....realizing that the two parties have far more in common both domestically and geopolitically than they have differences. Same foreign policy, same Fed Chairman, no changes thus far to taxes.....just equal rights for women, gays and stoners. So, in general, really no need to relocate to Canada or Israel. Ok, good talk.....

There has been, however, rhetoric in the sports world that makes the Pix want to take multiple hostages. The Pix refers, of course, to the Peyton Manning MVP chatter. So chicken neck has managed to stay upright and not throw THAT many interceptions vs. a schedule that is more feeble than 20th century France and once again Peter King and the rest of the hog sluts have broken out their knee pads and are slurping at the Manning altar. The Pix swears that if Breet came out of retirement the ESPN whores would be tripping over each other to see who could anoint St. Breet or St. Peyton or St. Jebow first. Is this 2005? Chicken neck gets picked off every time he lobs a one legged duck more than 20 yards down field. See Denver vs. Atlanta (where the real 2012 MVP is playing). Bringing Peyton's name into the MVP discussion at this point is as legitimate as saying Derek Jeter was this years world series MVP. Look, the Pix understands lifetime achievement awards, but enough is enough with the Mannings. Let them get their hand jobs at Mardi-Gras, but stay out of the MVP dialogue until maybe you can break into the top 20 of worthy candidates. Ok.......good talk.

The most important development in the NFL this past week, by far, was the Patriots trading a 4th round draft pick for Aqib Talib, the terrorist shut down corner formerly of the Tampa Bay Mujahideens. Less known were the secret efforts the Guru put forth to aqcuire M'balz es Hari, Haid D'Salaami, Hous Bin Pharteen and strong side linebacker I-Sheetz Mdrourz. The Pix can also now report that the Pats were in deep discussions to trade Stinkovich for special teams standouts Uliq M'diq, Uwana M'diq and Usuka M'diq. No truth to the rumors that Shane Vereen was almost traded for A-Wana-Fuqya and Mustaf-Herod-Apyur-Poupr. And, of course, a player to be named later. (Yes, the Pix completely ripped off the SNL skit.....wicked sorry).

The Pix:

Vagiants -4 over Stengals. The Pix saw a car last week with that gay bumper sticker from the 70's saying, "This car climbed Mt. Washington". Really? Your car went up a hill? The Pix then pulled up to the vehicle and asked, "Are you SERIOUS?!? YOUR CAR REALLY DID THAT??! YOU ARE SO BADASS!!!!" Then the Pix drove away.....

TB -3 at Chargers. If you are a 3 point dog to the Bucs at home there's just no way of avoiding the fact that you are.....and there's no other way to put this....bitches.

NO +3 over Falcons. Not for nothing, but this is where the undefeated season ends for the Freakniks. Google it. Welcome back.

Seattle -6 over Jets. Does this line seem small to you? It does to the Pix. This is exactly the type of game Dr Scholls and the Jeets actually win and draw back in the retarded Jet fans. Comedy. In other news, Mike Tannenbaum, the GM of the Jeets was so jealous that the Pats picked up Aqib Talib that he signed Jersey cab driver Graabir Boubi to the practice squad. Thanking you thanking the Pix.

Philly +2 over Dallas. Word out of the big D this past week was that Joan Rivers (I mean Jerry Jones) was accidentally locked out of the locker room following their loss the Freakniks. The Pix doesn't know much about running a billion dollar organization with 200+ employees.........but when they lock you out.........it MIGHT not be an accident.

Turds - infinity over Chefs. Speaking of Pittsburgh.....last week several Pitt Panthers were arrested for assault. Shocker, "student athletes" running afoul of the law. This, of course, is not news worthy in itslef. What grabbed the Pix' fancy was that apparently these student-athletes were on their way back from VAMPIRE class. Vampires......were they at Pitt, or Hogwarts??

Bills +11 at Pats. Sadly, the Pix isn't ready to trust the Pats yet. At least not until newly acquired Apul-Madeek-Aout joins the secondary. And then, well, expect explosive play. All common sense says that The Guru coming off a bye week with the Bills at home is as sure a thing as Chelsea Handler after her fifth martini. But let's face it, the 2012 Pats are still shaky. They should have lost to the Jets at home....so the Pix will take the 11 points. Ok? Ok......good talk.

Pix Out